A generation ago, oral sex was usually something that was done months or years after a couple had already been having intercourse, as an extra sex act. My, how times have changed. In many relationships today, couples engage in oral sex long before they ever have intercourse. Sometimes it’s even done instead of intercourse, when a couple wants to wait to have “sex.”

Even though oral sex is widely performed by millions of people, that does not mean that oral sex necessarily comes naturally to everyone. Some people have many inhibitions about receiving oral sex, so they can’t just lie back and enjoy it. Or they worry that they are not good enough at performing oral sex, so they avoid doing it.

Why Oral Sex Is Amazing

Some people know one big reason why receiving oral sex is amazing: It feels great! But there are also many other reasons:

  • Orgasm can happen quickly and intensely, because stimulation is concentrated on the genitals.
  • The tongue is more flexible and softer than fingers (or almost anything else, for that matter) so it can stimulate genitals in a way that is totally unique.
  • Oral sex can help a man become aroused during foreplay and help him get a firm erection in preparation for intercourse.
  • Oral sex can help a woman become aroused during foreplay and well lubricated in preparation for penetration during intercourse.
  • Tight, warm, wet lips can be very stimulating when they are wrapped around a penis.
  • A warm wet tongue can be very stimulating when it is moving around on a woman’s clitoris and vagina.
  • There’s no risk of pregnancy.
  • Oral sex, like any kind of sex, is a way to express love.

Oral sex is an important part of many people’s sex lives. It can be part of foreplay, a way to get ready for intercourse. It can be a substitute for sex when people want to wait to have intercourse, or if one or both partners are not able to have intercourse due to illness or disability. Or it can be a sexual variation to be enjoyed simply for the pleasure it brings.

What to Do If You Have Inhibitions About Oral Sex

For some people, the thought of giving or receiving oral sex is a total turn off. Most people who don’t enjoy receiving oral sex are too self-conscious to enjoy it. If this is your issue, and if you can get over your hang-ups, then you will be able to find pleasure in a whole new way.

The biggest reason why some people are inhibited about oral sex is because it is a highly intimate act. Your entire face is directly in front of your partner’s genitals.

You may be inhibited about oral sex if:

  • You worry that your genitals smell
  • You are afraid that your genitals taste bad
  • You think that your genitals look funny or are in some way out of the ordinary
  • You worry that your partner’s mouth will hurt or get tired after a while
  • You are self-conscious that your partner will get hair in his or her teeth, mouth, or throat
  • You are afraid that you won’t know how to reciprocate
  • You wonder if your partner is just doing it out of obligation

None of the issues in that list are really true. Unless you just got back from a 10-mile run, there’s no reason to worry that your genitals smell or taste bad if you’ve kept up with basic good hygiene. Your genitals have a distinct taste and smell, but that’s your natural aroma. It’s just part of you. The same goes for the way your genitals look, or how much pubic hair you have, or even how long it takes you to have an orgasm. Don’t worry that oral sex is uncomfortable or “gross” to the person who’s having oral sex with you. It’s not! It is an amazing part of sex.

Also, don’t worry that your partner is just going down on you out of obligation. Remember: Your partner wouldn’t be having oral sex on you unless he or she wanted to. Oral sex is a choice—not an obligation. You don’t have to worry that your partner, “really doesn’t want to be doing it.” That’s not for the receiver to worry about. You have to remember that oral sex is a huge turn on for some people, and simply a great way to give pleasure.

Here are some tips that might help you get past your hang-ups about oral sex:

  • Shower or bathe right before your partner performs oral sex on you. Better yet, shower or bathe together.
  • Have oral sex at a time and a place that are comfortable to you, never when you feel shy or pressured.
  • Relax, take deep breaths, and instead of worrying, think about the good feelings that oral sex can bring.
  • Talk to your lover about it. Ask your lover to stop when he or she gets tired, or to be honest about how much he or she really likes doing it. Being open about it will give you both a chance to voice your feelings about oral sex. Also, talk about what types of oral stimulation your partner enjoys, so you can learn to do what he or she likes best.

No one should ever feel forced into giving or receiving oral sex. While most people do like it (or learn to get over their hang-ups and then like it) there are some people who just never will like oral sex. If you or your partner falls into that category, you can’t force the issue. Enjoy other aspects of sex if oral sex isn’t for you. But if you do get into oral sex, then you’ll have lots and lots to enjoy!

source: sexguide ebook